no pets allowed

Some people are self-proclaimed pet people, and others are not. i am not. i'm actually way too selfish to enjoy the thought of owning a pet. walk it in the rain? no thanks. potty training accidents make me gag enough, so i can't even imagine what bodily fluids from an animal would do to my stomach. letting something that licks it's own booty turn around and then lick your face? are you serious?? and that whole sharing-a-bed-with-a-dog-thing? no way, never happening.

now don't get me wrong- i'm not an animal hater by any means. (well, except for my sister's cat. i have no love in my heart for that mean cat. and my sister will never admit it, but i'm betting that she wishes that lemon laws applied to more than just cars). i'm not completely heartless. i DO in fact, think they're cute. i grew up with pets, and i know how to take care of them. and yes, at some point (and i cannot believe i'm actually saying this, i'm sure we'll get one for the boys that they'll be excited about for about 3 days and then i'll end up taking care of for the rest of it's life). but until that day comes, we will just enjoy taking care of our friends' pets while they go on vacation. and we got our first shot at that last week.

so the first day the cat got here it went straight in to hiding. our babysitter, who thought she had officially lost the cat, resorted to walking around the house using some catfinder app on her iphone. yeah, it didn't work. when the cat finally emerged two days later, ty instantly began chasing the poor cat around calling, "here kitty kitty" followed by a few kissy sounds. the only problem is that ty is unable to make the "k" sound, and instead uses the "t" sound. so the poor "kitty" is now unsure whether or not his name has been changed to a crass nickname for a female body part. the cat couldn't figure out whether he hated the boys or loved them, switching between hiding from them and following them around the house. the boys had no confusion when it came to their emotions, however. they knew it was love at first sight. they spent the week searching for him (and irritating him i'm sure), laughing at him, laying on him, and telling their father they wanted a cat. OMG... are my kids pet people???

so this week we're trying again. my sister in law dropped off her super-cute, totally well behaved little 5-pound lap dog a couple of hours ago. (yes, i like the dog. and no, it will not be licking my face). ty has already adopted a new high-pitched voice to be used while patting her with his chubby hand. cj has already had a partial meltdown when i said that no, she cannot sleep with him in his room; and no, he cannot sleep downstairs with her. they have already argued over who is going to walk her on the leash. OMG... my kids are pet people.

i on the other hand, have already successfully managed to completely forget to tell the babysitter that the dog is here for a week. i forgot to fill her water bowl until about 5 minutes ago. i forgot to take her outside (thankfully i noticed her sniffing around so i got to avoid bodily fluids on the ground). i forgot the plastic bag when i went out there. i did, however, get elected to be the one to take her for a walk. and good news- it's raining!

i am so NOT a pet person.